we had a field trip planned for yesterday morning and OH! how i dragged my feet about going! it was 20 degrees outside, the roads were snow covered, and the field trip was a hike outside for two hours. not really my idea of family! fun!
i planned and organized the winter outing (which included snow-shoeing!), so i couldn’t really back out on everyone because i didn’t feel like going. so, i pushed forward through my unwillingness, and began packing up our snow clothes, warmed up the van and off we went, just in time.
once i got to a major road (we’ve got about 8 miles of “back roads” before we hit a major road), the drive was fine. and once we got there, the environmental center, which is in the middle of the woods, was like a snow globe…each tiny branch on the trees covered with snow. so quiet.
the group ended up being about 5 students short, so the staff had to rearrange our tour. every one of us got a pair of snow shoes…the littlest kids had “bear claw” snow shoes which i found to be adorable.
i froze…yes i had two pair of wool socks on and i still froze. but i wasn’t doing this for me. i wasn’t even doing this because it was the right thing to. i don’t even know the WHY of me walking around in snow shoes on one of the coldest days of the year, but that doesn’t matter. the sun was glorious, i got to spend time with my littlest one while my two older boys were able to walk around in the “big kid” group without their mama.
when sawyer walked back in from their walk and exclaimed, “that was awesome!” and when adam kept reaching for my hand during our walk, i knew that making the not-so-easy decision was the right decision.
“[parents] live in the midst of holy teachers. sometimes they throw tantrums, whine…sometimes they cuddle and kiss us…In the good and the bad they mold our hearts, shape our souls, and invite us to experience God in newer and deeper ways.”
gary thomas/ sacred parenting
it’s one of those mysteries of the faith. perhaps not as mysterious as the creation of the world or God in the flesh…but the daily, juxtaposed mystery of finding more joy (or earthly satisfaction) in living for others.
i am ashamed to admit to you how unwilling i am daily to live this way. let’s just say i’m working on it. when i finally give in and do something that i fight against because “i just don’t want to,” i am surprised at how wrong i was in resisting in the first place: i’m shocked at how much i enjoyed the field trip yesterday! i was in such a good mood after the field trip that we splurged and went out for lunch before returning home.