running away

Posted by in health, running

i am terrified of sharks and deep water. you’ll never see me on a cruise ship. i’m scared of spiders, but that is a fear you kind of have to deal with when you live in a rural area. the palm-sized garden spiders make my heart-rate skyrocket, but at least i know they won’t kill me.

i used to be afraid of running. in a way, i still am. why would i want to go through something so uncomfortable, so debilatating, by choice? i shook with fear on the high school P.E. Run the Mile day. i started to run it, and after a quarter of a lap, my lungs would burn, and my legs would hurt. i gave up and walked most of it because i hated not being able to breathe. since high school, i’ve been “power walking” regularly, so at least my legs are used to getting some form of exercise. i’m thankful for this since when i began running a few weeks ago, my legs are no worse for the wear. my knees and ankles are a different story, however.

i turned 38 this year, inching ever so closer to the big 4-0. i finally decided it was time to face my fear of running. i’m currently in a stare-down contest with running. sometimes i feel as though i’m winning, and other times, i want to “blink” so badly and just give in. i keep on going for a few reasons:

1/ i feel fantastic at the end of a run. it’s only taken three weeks of running, but my “breathing recovery” has shortened immensely. i no longer feel shakey or that i just want to fall on the ground in a heap of long-winded breaths. i feel on top of the world post-run now and i dont’ want to lose that feeling. during the run, i don’t feel so good, but i keep thinking about how i’m going to feel when i’m done.

2/ i don’t want the good money (that could have easily gone towards groceries) we just spent on my new running shoes to go to waste. i want to wear them out and need a new pair in six months. also, i bought the new pair of running shoes to encourage me to run more, and to start running as correctly as possible from the get-go.

3/ i’m wondering if perhaps running throughout the winter will keep me from getting depressed again.

i’m putting this new hobby “out there” to the blog world and on facebook to keep me accountable. if i blog about it, i’ll keep up with it. if i talk about my running issues, i might get great advice from people reading the blog or my facebook page. i’m encouraged and inspired by other new runners’ blogs, so hopefully, i can be an encouragement to someone else beginning to run again.

so…who’s running away with me?