ten years.

Posted by in family

it was kenny’s second day of his new job in my office building.

it was six weeks before our wedding day.

it was a lovely end-of-summer, beginning-of-autumn morning. i planned to do some pumpkin-bread baking that night. i was excited about all the newness in the air – fall, our upcoming nuptials, kenny’s great new job.

the details are fuzzy after that. i remember thinking it wasn’t real because i wasn’t aware of such hatred and evil. i was naive in my my 28-year-old mind.

my niece was 16 months old. i wanted to hug her – she was the most innocent thing i could think of – to get the evil images out of my head. i remember wondering if my brother and his wife were scared, because they had a child to raise, and to protect. and i felt as though i needed to be protected for the first time in a long time. how could i be the protector?

two years later, kenny and i had a child of our own. three years after that, to the day, we welcomed sawyer into our family. and less than two years after that, adam joined us. we brought children into this world, despite the fear and anxiety that day introduced into our life.

our boys know nothing of september 11, 2001. i will protect them from hearing about it for as long as i can (which is probably only a few more months as it is covered in their history curriculum this year). they have no idea what war is, so i’m not sure they would be able to process anything as evil as the events of that day. which is why the television has remained off for the past week. i am happy to keep them completely ignorant of such evils in history like the Holocaust, American slavery, and 9/11 until they are able to process this information with more maturity.

and once they learn, we will mark the anniversaries of 9/11 as we always do: with cake and ice cream, in celebration of sawyer’s birth. i always quote her, but my friend ellen’s comment on our announcement of sawyer’s birth back in 2004 rings in my heart each time i see his smile, hear his laughter, and listen to his prayers: “Sawyer’s birth stakes a claim for life and love on such a complicated day.”

may we always celebrate beginnings of life, and commemorate the ends with love and prayer.