friday stream of conscience…
we’ve been going at full speed all week long. i feel a bit like a drill sergeant at times keeping the boys just one little step ahead of our full schedule this year.
i need someone to keep me ahead of the schedule too, but nobody applied for the job, so i’m on my own.
this morning is friday, and i’m dragging. i’m feeling the need for a recharge of my batteries. i snapped at the boys because they can’t keep their room clean and they keep dragging dirt in from the outside (ha!). really, i was snapping at them because there is camping gear in every room in the house that needs to be put away, costumes from our summer show that need to be put into storage, and i swear there is a dining room table in our dining room under that mound of junk.
after a week of go-go-go making meals, doing laundry and schooling three boys, i’m hitting a wall. so we take this friday morning slowly. after two subjects (math and writing), the boys head out to the swings. i notice that there is a chair on the deck in full sun, so i go to sit on it. the sun feels so good….15 minutes later, i wake up.
i’m still crabby. there’s still a cluttered house and it’s nearly lunchtime. that means the natives will be hungry. that means I’LL be hungry.
i never understood those who said, “i just forgot to eat today” because that never happens to me. until this year. there is so much going on, so much to juggle, that i haven’t been taking care of myself as much. i haven’t been crabby like this all summer, even though the weather was cool and barely pool-worthy.
the boys are still on the swings. 25 minutes later and they’ve got some game going on. i enjoy the few more quiet moments i have until they come screaming in at full speed yelling something about being starving and i yell something back about not knowing what it’s like to actually be starving. (please tell me i’m not the only one who uses this line on their “starving” kids?)
and then i’m thankful for that. thankful that they don’t know hunger. thankful that we can feed them. thankful then, that we can feed them knowledge and habits, value time and family. thankful for everything that i can feed them in a day’s time because they are here with me all day long.
maybe it was the nap in the sunshine for 15 minutes. maybe it was 15 minutes to myself for the first time this week…maybe it was a whisper, a reminder, that this life we’ve chosen, that we’ve been given, is one pretty spectacular gift.
so i better not blow it.