It’s a club. And I think I was just initiated into it tonight. Although, I don’t think I realized it existed until I realized I was making my way into it.

Here’s how it works: You get pregnant, and have a baby. You’re a mom! Around the 6 week-post-partum mark, you begin to magically hear about different play groups in your area, moms-who-lunch gatherings at local restaurants, and MOPS (mothers of pre-schoolers) meetings. You wonder whether or not you should go to these, because even though you have stretch marks and you’re breastfeeding this little baby 876 times a day, you’re still not sure whether you qualify as a mother yet. Then after about a week or two in the house all by yourself with your new little one, you find that you have signed yourself up for all of them. This is the first step.

After you attend your first playgroup, you notice that there is a different way that moms communicate with each other. There’s the typical, “My Althea* now eats bananas and rice cereal. Her poops are so smelly now” and “My Jacob* can say, “Pee Pee” and “Goober” now! His vocabulary is really growing!” When you hear this at each new mom gathering, you automatically get caught up into it. You answer these statements with your own child’s latest accomplishments in his diaper. You only realize this after the bragging statement has exited your mouth. This is the second step.

Then, a few weeks later, you find yourself talking to two other moms about their recent trip to the playground. Since your child is only 3 months old he has no need for a playground yet, but you nod in agreement and talk as though you know exactly what they mean when referring to “The Blue Slide Park” because they don’t even offer to explain what or where that park is. They assume since You’re A Mom, you know these things. This is close to the third step…but you’ve accomplished the third step only when you say to them as you leave the playgroup that afternoon, “Maybe I’ll bump into you at The Blue Slide sometime.” Only one more step to accomplish.

Your child is now one year old, and you are talking to another mom that you bump into on your evening walk. This mom mentions to you that she used to go to the “Beechwood Boulevard playground”, but that her son now prefers the local neighborhood playground. You look at her with a questioning eye, “Oh, yes, the Blue Slide.” She quickly recovers, “Yes. I meant the Blue Slide.” You are a Mom In The Know (MITK), and you have easily identified another MITK.

Congratulations and welcome to the club.

*The names of these children have been changed because eventually, they’re not going to want the world to know that their moms used to discuss their bowel movements in detail.