this morning i carried on the laughlin tradition (as a smith, of course) of taking the boys to a store to shop for their christmas gifts to each other.

when we were young, my parents drove my brothers and me to a store called Zayre's and we'd each pick out a small gift to give each other while secretly passing it off to my mom or dad to pay for, and then wrapping it ourselves for the "sibling gift exchange" which was usually on christmas eve. i remember specifically one year "planting" a hint toward one of my brothers that i reallyreally wanted the single for "That's What Friends Are For" sung by Dionne and Friends. sure enough, it was given to me by one of my brothers that very christmas.

as we walked into the toy aisle, i repeated the conversation that we had in the car, and in the living room, and in their bedroom the previous night: "rowan, pick out a toy that you want to give to sawyer. sawyer, pick out a toy that you want to give to rowan." as i had anticipated and feared, the comment was ignored as they found the nearest neon ball with rubber tentacles or plastic thing-a-ma-bob that enticed their not-so-refined taste in toys. then rowan found a toy trumpet and said, "here mommy. i want sawyer to give this me."

we ended up buying two small toys (both of which rowan had picked out: one for him, and one for sawyer) and drove home where we had the next exciting project waiting for us: wrapping the gifts and then hiding them.

here is where i insert my admission of my deep desire for advent and christmas to be a reflective, and holy season in our household. it may not sound like it if you just read the previous paragraphs, since buying gifts, wrapping, hiding, and anticipating getting them is what the commercial aspect of the "holiday" is. but i can't keep my boys from enjoying and partaking in the gift-giving side of christmas, nor do i want to keep them from it. and i realized this morning that it's a good lesson for them in teaching them what advent is, and why it is so important to observe before the celebration of christmas.

as soon as we got home, rowan couldn't wait to open his toy. or both of them. i patiently repeated that we were going to wrap them and then put them away until christmas.

rowan: "can we wrap them and then tear them open, mommy?"
me: "nope. we wrap them, then hide them and then open them on christmas morning."
rowan: "is it christmas today, mommy?"
me: "nope. it's still advent. that's why we open your advent calendar every morning. christmas is in 11 days."
rowan: "but i can't wait 11 days!"

i can remember the shear torture it was to wait for christmas to come when i was a kid. rowan is beginning to understand the excitement of this holiday. he's excited for his cousins and aunts and uncles to stay with us, and he's figuring out that there will be presents. and sugary treats (i've been baking and freezing. he's disappointed every time i bake something and he can't eat it right away, as i tell him he can eat it at christmas). he does throw in the occassional "it's jesus' birthday on christmas" but i can't tell if it's something he really believes yet, or if he's doing it to appease kenny and me.

advent is a relatively new thing to me. i grew up presbyterian. and the kind of presbyterian i was didn't celebrate advent. we only had the candlelight christmas eve service complete with special music and a cookie-and-punch reception following the service. i think it's hard for (some) adults to really practice advent if they weren't trained early to observe. it's hard to focus your thoughts inward and upward (and future-ward!) during these typically busy weeks before christmas. especially when you didn't grow up preparing and waiting like advent demands.

we are all waiting for the celebration of the birth of our saviour. and we are waiting for His return...but are we waiting with the eagerness and excitement of a child? the return of Christ is bigger than christmas and advent invites us to wait and prepare for the biggest of celebrations we will ever partake in.

i hope your advent has been and will continue to be joyous, peaceful, and bursting with excitement for what is to come!