parenting is the best. seriously. i can think of nothing else that makes me want to scream thankfulness and praise to God than when i stop and just "behold" rowan, sawyer, and adam.

but when your kid gets sick, you meet a "hard part" of parenting.

i don't think i'm the only parent in the world who gets a pit the size of a grapefruit in their stomach the minute their child complains of "not feeling well" or begins the every-five-minute puke session. and it's not because once your kids get sick, you are in for a lot of extra work, and hardly any sleep. the hard part for me is constant worry.

when rowan was 5 months old, he got his first virus - a cold virus with a low-grade fever. but i was a mess. we spent $60 on "cold and fever supplies" at the drugstore to make him get better faster. i prayed that the fever would just disappear, or that i was simply being too paranoid and his warm forehead wasn't a fever afterall. the virus ran its course, and he was back to himself in no time. and we had a house full of cold and fever supplements to share with the neighborhood. but still, i worried about the next time a fever would hit.

i'm just a worrier. and that's not a good thing to be when you also put everything in jesus' hands. this is a struggle for me.

sawyer started puking yesterday at noon, and he puked for 10 minutes straight. this just after a HUGE diaper blowout. i was certain he was exorcising a demon. it just didn't seem natural to puke for that long. he's slowly but steadily getting better. today the "action" is less, but the fever is here. and my prayers for health for the rest of the family are being answered at the moment. of course, i'm worrying about him...his little body shaking for lack of nutrition and sleep and his poor diaper rash. and on top of worrying about him, i worry about the other two getting it (or kenny and i!). worry. worry. worry...

the other night, we were all in the living room a few minutes before it was time for the boys' bedtime. i was at the piano playing hymns from a hymnal-for-piano-dummies (meaning each hymn had no more than two flats or sharps) and kenny pointed out a hymn that i haven't sung in so long, based on Isaiah 66:12: "I will extend peace to her like a river." Since that night, I've had the chorus stuck in my head...

"Stayed upon Jehovah, hearts are fully blest, finding, as he promised, perfect peace and rest."

God knows how much I pray for my little guys daily. (Worriers tend to be pretty frequent pray-ers, too!) So I know that my little family...my little guys...are stayed on Him. I look at that little face of Sawyer under that blanket and I know Whose hands he's in, no matter what.

And the imperfect worry dissolves into a perfect peace.