If I have to be honest about where I am in my head/heart with our move out to the country, I must admit that I am homesick. But my homesick feelings also coincide with the baby blues - something I have experienced with each baby, and I'm sure I'm going through now.

Our first two months here, I was optimistic about how our life would change in this new "atmosphere." But optimism has taken a back seat. For instance, it's now weird to me that I can't really call where we live a "neighborhood" as it just doesn't feel like a neighborhood...it feels more like a spot on a map. It isn't a cluster of homes nestled around a city, or a smattering of homes and larger yards in the 'burbs. It's an area where there are a few homes between larger lots of land. I know for a fact that this area has been "built up" in the past 40 years - we hear this a lot from the people we bought the house from. This house was the only house for miles...and now there are several homes on this street...one other home that we can see from our front yard! They find this a bit disturbing (as folk out here seem to like their space). I am finding this a bit isolating and lonesome.

You can feel the silence outside in the evenings in your stomach. It's a sound that you cannot "experience" in the city, or even in the suburbs. I now find it empty and cold. There is no soft "hustle and bustle" of the lives of people in houses just feet from your own.

I am optimistic that this will change and my new home will once again feel like home to me. I'll find it again as I watch the boys run around our acres barefoot and fearless of bugs and small animals. The baby blues go away within weeks of the baby's birth, so I'm looking forward to finding solace in the country-quiet once again.