just before dinner this evening, i stumbled into a time in our family when two out of three children were in diapers, squinty eyes and a  big "CHEESE!" was the sound behind the still photos, and there was an actual, real live BABY in the house.

i can't believe that time was a full THREE years ago, and when i found myself there, i could hear the warnings of friends and family telling me to "hold on to these days!" and "they grow up way too fast!" although i heard them, took their advice to heart and thought i held on tight and savored those days as best i could (sometimes. sometimes not so much...), the boys all grew up way too fast. here i am with three NON-babies in the house, two of them who read words on a page, who use the bathroom like adults, and who ask incredibly important and complicated questions like, "will i be alive in 100 million years?" and who call me "mom" instead of "mama."

i was looking for pictures of pilgrim and indian hats we made our first thanksgiving in this house. what i didn't realize was just how...YOUNG the boys were until i actually found the pictures:

remember how red sawyer's cheeks would get in the fall and winter? and how stocky he seemed next to rowan?  that big toothy grin rowans always gave to the camera. they've both grown taller and slimmer, they speak words that everyone can understand, and....my goodness...who is that BABY:

i just assumed adam was there at the table with us making the hats, yelling for the giraffe-scissors and his own marker for the hat buckle. but look! he can't even sit up on his own yet!

it's amazing what time and busy-ness does to your already worn-out mom brain.

when i snapped back into this time zone, with demands of dinner and tired boys fighting over new toys, i couldn't help but think about the day, years to come, when i'll be getting dinner ready for only two again and how different the sounds of the house will be then. so i let them continue to fight over the toys without getting involved. i made dinner and laughed at their corny jokes (shhhhh! they think they're hilarious!), and took them upstairs WITHOUT making them clean up the toy room. 

because they're only going to keep getting bigger. and louder. and perhaps i'll look back on pictures of this thanksgiving in three years and wonder why i didn't stop and savor it more.