Some of you wanted to know the details of Saweyr's birth story. Here it is....in all it's glory! If you are in any way squeamish, you may want to skim through it, or stay away from reading it. :)
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Sawyer Cole Smith decided to take his good old time entering our world. He was born a few days before his due date, but he seemed to want to draw the process out as long as possible. After my OB appointment on Thursday, September 9th, I began contracting on a semi-regular basis around noon. The contractions became more intense by evening, and I began counting the minutes between them after I went to sleep that night. They were regular, about 5-7 minutes apart for a while, then dissipated to 15 minutes, or even 20 minutes apart. By Friday morning, and after a night of no sleep, the contractions just ended. I didn't know whether or not this was a false alarm, or the very early stages of labor. So I called the doctor. They wanted me to come in and check me out to make sure everything was okay.
When we got to the hospital, I began contracting again. This was a relief because I really didn't want the doctor to think that I was making it up! During a non-stress test at the hospital, the doctor determined that Sawyer's heartbeat was perfect, and he was reacting well with each contraction. So they sent me home to wait it out, assuring me that we would probably be seeing each other again by the end of the weekend. This was Friday afternoon...I didn't know how many more days I'd be able to handle painful contractions that weren't doing anything to bring Sawyer down into the birth canal!
So Kenny and I drove home and hung out with Rowan all afternoon while I continued to contract. We decided to keep our dinner plans with old co-workers of Kenny's at a local Indian restaurant. It was easier to be out and about, instead of sitting at home, twiddling our thumbs, and we thought the spicy Indian food might just kick things in! The meal was great...I ordered my Matar Paneer a bit spicier than normal. By the time we got home, my contractions were getting stronger, but were still sporadic...there was no rhythm to them. An hour and a half later, my water broke. It broke in small spurts, very unlike my water breaking with Rowan, which practically emptied the uterus. It was very definitley amniotic fluid that was leaking, so I felt very confident calling my doctor telling her that I was actively in labor now! She agreed and told me to get to the hospital as soon as I could because things could progress quickly.
Kenny called my mom, she was on her way, and we packed the bags in the car and waited for her arrival. I was so relieved to know that I didn't have to go through a day or two more with contractions that didn't progress my labor. I was getting a bit jittery with anticipation of the labor and birth ahead of me. I began shaking a bit, and I remember feeling the same way when my water broke with Rowan. We were going to meet our son within hours! Sawyer was (finally!) on his way!
Once we got to the hospital, Kenny dropped me off at the ER. The triage nurse was extremely busy reading a trashy romance novel when I walked into her office. It wasn't the middle of the night, so the waiting room wasn't empty, but it was 10:30 on a Friday night. There were a handful of folks waiting for emergency care. I was the only pregnant one, demanding it. I didn't actively demand it, but the staff got me out of the waiting room as soon as they saw me grimace through a contraction.
I got to labor and delivery where they had to verify that my water had in fact broken, and I didn't just pee my pants. :) Fortunately, they determined that my water broke, so they were able to get me into my Labor and Delivery room...the big luxurious room with the hardwod floors, wooden entertainment center, and cushy furniture. Unfortunately, my contractions were so bad that I really couldn't enjoy any of them. Kenny had me breathing in and out through each contraction, but I still tensed and wiggled. I couldn't handle them. I was losing control, and it felt as though I was losing my mind.
I was hooked up to my IV fluids and anitbiotics since I was strep B positive, and an anaesthegiologist walked into the room. A white light lit her from behind. I swear she had wings. And a halo. She was sent straight from God.
No, I didn't hesitate when they offered me the epidural. I was becoming psychotic with each contraction. I was yelling and not able to control myself. My body shook so hard at the end of each contraction, and fear took over. I was still only at 4 centimeters, and I knew I couldn't last longer than another hour of contractions. The epidural was painful to administer this time. I breathed through contractions as I sat on the table. Kenny pulled out a picture of Rowan for me to look at. Looking at his angelic face made it take my mind off of the procedure, however, I did feel the needle. It was a completely different epidural than I had with Rowan. I felt everything but the pain. I felt him move inside of me, I felt my uterus contract with each contraction, and I felt exactly when I had to push. I loved it. I could feel what I was supposed to feel, but without the pain.
The epidural was given to me at around 1:00 a.m. My blood pressure dropped considerably, and so did Sawyer's heartrate. This is the big drawback to drugs. My body shook and shivered through the next two hours, as the doctors and nurses "fixed" my and Sawyer's pressure and heartrate. We waited.
Then I felt the urge to push. I didn't have this sensation with Rowan's birth, so this was an incredible feeling. I knew my son would be in my arms very soon.
The resident and nurse and Kenny helped me through a practice push. I pushed and pushed through the first contraction I could feel, and they felt confident that I was ready to actively push as Sawyer moved lower with just that push. The doctor came into the room, and immediately I needed to push, so they told me to go ahead and push. It was amazing feeling the baby on his way out. Again, I knew that I loved this pushing part. Pushing is my absolute most favorite part of labor and delivery. The pressure wasn't annoying, it was so invigorating. Sawyer was doing well, and I was feeling great. The best part was Kenny. He stood right next to me and gave me so much support and help in the pushing. It was as though my strength came from his excitement in knowing that he was about to meet his second son, and he knew that I could bring him into this world. His confidence in me gave me an extra boost of energy and confidence in myself. Perhaps that is why Sawyer was born in only 20 minutes of pushing.
I knew I was getting close because they said something about the head...then I looked at Kenny and he was looking at what the doctors were doing. He had a huge smile on his face and everyone said that his head was out. I felt a lot of pressure and wasn't sure whether or not I should push, so I asked, and the doctor said, "You won't have to! He's out!" As she was saying that, I felt Sawyer slide right out. And I couldn't believe how light I felt so immediately. Kenny leaned down in such excitement and said something like, "He's HERE!" I was leaning back in exhaustion, then I realized I could see my baby, so I lifted my head as the doctor and nurse were giving Sawyer to me. He was crying and I was crying. I was so happy to hear his little cry. He had lungs! They worked!
When they whisked him off to the warmer, Kenny immediately followed him over (I love his daddy-instinct!). I could hear him talking to Sawyer, telling him how cute he was, and that everything was going to be okay. Then he yelled over, "Babe, he's got HUGE feet!" At this point, the doctor delivered my placenta and I asked to see it. I was the only one in the delivery room at Rowan's birth that didn't see my placenta (and the others saw it merely by accident), and so I wasn't going to go through this birth experience without seeing what a placenta looked like! The resident brought it over to me in a metal bowl...complete with the sac attached to it. She showed me where Sawyer had been attached. It was rather fascinating.
I never remember this part of the delivery very much. I can't remember who brought Sawyer over to me. I can't remember receiving him back from the warming table. I was feeling so mellow, so at peace with everything. I think after being in labor for hours and hours took its toll on me. I couldn't wait to hold my son! I remember nursing him for the first time. Somehow, the room emptied, and it was just Kenny, Sawyer and me. I nursed him...Kenny was taking pictures...and Sawyer was wide awake. He had trouble latching or knowing what to do once he was latched, but it didn't take him long to learn.
An hour or so later, I noticed the sun was coming up. It was a gorgeous sunrise. I told Kenny to show Sawyer his first sunrise and I took a picture of him holding him up to the window.
It's amazing what I forget about the first hours. I was so tired from not having slept for two full nights. I missed Rowan...a feeling that I didn't have from Rowan's birth, obviously. But as soon as I met Sawyer, I fell good and hard for him. His eyes wander around at the world around him, and I love watching him take it all in. I can't describe enough how my heart melts when he's nursing. His eyes look so content and happy and relaxed. I love that it's something that he loves to do.
Rowan is being so great with him. I am so full of love for my two sons. And for my husband. It's incredible to be a family of four so suddenly. The days have been fun seeing how Rowan notices Sawyer and how Sawyer loves to sleep.
I was told that a mother's love doesn't split in half with each child, but it grows. I can bear witness to the fact that I am experiencing my heart's growing pains for my children. I just burst into tears just looking at Sawyer sleeping or nursing. And I want to scoop Rowan into my arms and hold on tight when he runs up to me or Kenny in fear or confusion of his new life. It's incredible to stop and think that I have two sons. Two little boys who used to live inside of me, one of whom now gets his complete nourishment from me, are here in this world with Kenny and me.
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